Emperor Mikhail and I stared at each other for what felt like a lifetime. I couldn’t move, or find my voice, no matter how hard I tried. My mind fluttered between explanations; he was a ghost, a phantom, or an undead abomination. He was a memory, brought to me as a vision born from stress. He was an impostor; not that I knew of any Voice that could craft such a perfect illusion. Raimen’s Voice of Water had the ability to mimic the form of human bodies, but I had my doubts that even a Master could have performed such a feat, and for so long, without error. The reality, however, was too much to bear.
Just when I found myself on the verge of the hysterical, girlish tears that Raimen would have paid money to witness on any other day, the Emperor frowned, a distant look in his eyes. At last he spoke, bridging the gap of silence between us.
“Are you the caged Dragon-child that my army has spoken of? I can sense your fear. No Dragon would fear me. It is not in the nature of the beast.”
I flinched at his estimation of my power, both because I had reason to anticipate his disapproval, and because of the sound’s similarity to Master Mikhail’s voice. I opened my mouth to reply, but the words didn’t come.
He shook his head, his long, white mane of hair rustling behind him. “If you are not the Dragon-child, then introduce yourself, please. I cannot understand how you came to find me, in this place, without specific intent.” For just a moment, a muscle clenched in his cheek. “I must have your name, enemy or friend. I will not be dishonored in my own home. Speak.”
I was treading on dangerous ground. Why he hadn’t called his guards for assistance, or destroyed me where I stood, I couldn’t guess. Out of necessity, bolstered by the Voice of Fire’s strength, I did my best to respond.
“I… I am the girl you speak of. But you… are not what I expected at all.”
He laughed, then, a sound as musical as that of Mikhail’s. “What we expect, Lady Dragon, is never what we receive in life. If more people could understand that, and respect it, perhaps this Empire, and others like it, might thrive.” Then he closed his eyes. “If you are a Dragon-child and not a full Dragon, the fear is understandable. You have much to learn.”
I couldn’t help the outburst that came next, after hearing those words from him. “You can’t tell me that. You trained me! You know how far I’ve come! You know how far we’ve all come! Yes, I have much to learn, but… is that all you have to say, after everything that’s happened? That I need more training? How… how very like you.” The tears overflowed then, and I sank to the ground, my knees warmed by the brilliant blue carpet. “All I ever wanted was to see you again. Forgive me. I’m still unworthy.”
I didn’t hear him stand up or move until he was close enough to touch me. He was fast; faster than he had ever been when he trained with me. His true power was amazing to behold. I had far more to learn than I had ever realized, it seemed. I listened, numb, to his voice above my head.
“I have trained no one, Dragon-child. That responsibility is not mine. It is the responsibility of those that feel they can bring good to this Empire, and to the boys that they raise into manhood. I am the Emperor. Everything around me is mine, but the same might be said of a Dragon, or a girl-child. Think not that I am able to place my hands everywhere at once. I must pass off some duties to others.”
I bristled at his exclusive mention of boys being trained by men. No thought was spared for a girl. Master Mikhail had never said such a thing to me before! I had never believed he ever would. It was impossible to equate the man’s words with the face and the heart of the Master I knew. That could only mean one thing.
“I was a student of Master Mikhail. It was your hand that ceased our training, and his life. Forgive my insolence, Great One, but why do you now wear his face, after all that has happened?” Then, it hit me. “Were you trying to trick me into submission by pretending to be someone I knew and loved?” The Dragon in me, contrary to his assumption, was raising her head for war. “Well, you’ve won. What do you plan to do with me? I never thought the ruler of our Empire would be a coward, resorting to tricks and cruelty to capture an errant child.”
He laid a hand on my head, and though the gesture was a gentle one, the weight of his palm seemed to press down forever. In that one touch lay the gravity of the entire Empire. “Now, you make sense to me, Dragon-child. It has taken far too long.” I chanced a glance upward at his face; he was smiling, though there remained a great deal of sadness in his eyes. It took me several moments to realize he was not looking at me; the pupils of his eyes were pure white. He saw nothing; only sensed it. “You mistake me for Master Mikhail. Forgive me, but it has been many years since I last saw my reflection. I had forgotten.”
He took his hand from my head, and knelt down himself, his balance perfect; I had expected less from a blind man. His hands located mine, and I allowed him to guide me up from the floor and back into a proper standing position. “There is no reason for a lady, much less a Lady Dragon, to be seated upon her knees in my presence. Stand, and we will talk. Otherwise we shall both be uncomfortable.”
I had only half been listening when he called me Lady Dragon the first time. The use of it the second time, plus the kind demeanor coupled with the courtly persuasion of his words, left me at a loss. Part of me wanted to latch onto him and cry, while the other part of me still wanted to kill him for not being Master Mikhail after all. There was so much similarity, both in his words and actions, though Master Mikhail had done away with much of the formality when he adopted us. Being separate from Keep life and politics, we had had no such need of the skill. If he wasn’t Master Mikhail, then who could he be? And for a man that assumed all students of the Way were male, why did he call me Lady Dragon, like Mikhail would have, if he had lived to do so?
“You have many questions. I cannot blame you.” The Emperor that wore Mikhail’s face was speaking again. “I have not seen my brother in years, but as boys, we confused people on a regular basis. We played at it well, until my duties drew me away from such games.” The muscle in his cheek that had shown itself when I refused to speak to him twitched again. “Mikhail was a dear friend, as well as my brother. I take it he did not speak of me?”
I shook my head, feeling stupid. “He mentioned no brother, Great One. When he spoke of you, it was as a superior and as the ruler of our Empire, no more.” How had he not told us?
“I should have expected that.” The sigh that emanated from the Emperor was almost too human to bear. “You became his family, in the end. Perhaps that was for the best. I would not have wished to find that he regretted the things he had done.”
His words confirmed Master Mikhail’s death, which I had assumed, but never allowed myself to accept without question. The fury I had been holding back burst forth in the face of his killer. “You ordered his death! He was your brother!” I wrenched myself away from him as the reality of those words hit me. Master Grimm might have been the weapon sent to put an end to our training, but the Emperor’s hand wielded it! “We would have died in his place, if he had allowed it. Does that please you as well? Would that have pleased you more?”
He shook his great mane of white hair again and closed his eyes. “Think not that anything I do pleases me, Lady Dragon. The shackles of ruling an Empire are tight and sharp. It is not uncommon to bleed beneath their grasp. Though some men are born to rule, not all are born to make hard decisions without care. You are a woman, and I doubt you will ever find the opportunity to experience it in your lifetime, but I pray you never must. It is not a fact I would wish on anyone.”
“I don’t want to hear your excuses.” The Voice of Fire was cautioning me to step back, but I didn’t have the heart. “You killed him. He was everything to us. Why?”
“I asked Master Grimm to bring you to me, and nothing more. He is a talented Master, just as I knew my brother was. I had hoped that my brother would allow the inevitable to take place unchallenged.” The Emperor was frowning again. “He gave you a fine start, but he found in you a family, not students. That is not how things are done. You must know how dangerous the power inside you is. You have used it to try to escape my guards already.” I glared at him, and his eyes opened to stare eerily into my own. He couldn’t see me, but it felt as if he could. “That danger poses a threat, Lady Dragon, not just to Kouda’s enemies, but to our Empire, as well. I have heard the laments of Mistress Ami already. Because of your lack of caution and control, she has lost everything.”
I had nothing to say to that.
“You and the other girl-child, the Lady Eagle of the Wind, have been permitted too much time to acquaint yourselves with what you are capable of. This is why we do not train women. Did you know?” I shook my head in silence. “Mikhail, my dear brother, was patient with you. He wanted you to grow into yourselves and each other. But women grow faster than men. And when they do, they act older and wiser than perhaps they are. You have the strength and temper of a girl twice your age, but what you lack is the wisdom and temperance that age could bring. Do you understand? I do not mean to slight you. I am speaking in honesty. If what I claim is a lie, then please correct me.”
I wanted to argue. I wanted to slap him. Both of those would have been lies. Nana and I were both overconfident in our own ways. I got angry and didn’t think; Nana thought too much and pretended she was unshakable. The very combination of those two things had resulted in the destruction of Mistress Ami’s home. It could not be denied.
The Emperor took my silence as his answer. “My brother did the right thing in terms of what was best for you. If I were not the master of this Empire, I would have done the same. But I know that my brother’s actions jeopardized not only your lives, but the lives of all of my people when he chose to train you in secret. It was one of the many things we fought about, over the years. The fact that he fought Master Grimm is all the proof I need to know that he went to his death still believing that I had lost sight of what it meant to be human.” Now his face was more than sad; it was tortured. “I have always put this nation first, Lady Dragon. It is my duty and my honor. And it has now cost me my brother. Think not that I did this with a smile.”
I found myself shaking. My only comfort was in the fact that he was, too.
“Master Grimm claims that you children were the ones that thought first of escape. You did not wish to face me, for fear I would be more strict than my brother, and press you into advancing in your lessons at the proper pace. You believed that I would look down upon you as the girl-child you still are. I regret to inform you that you are correct. Do not mistake this distrust for a lack of respect, though.” The Emperor sighed. “I believe that you, and your Eagle, can succeed, if you are willing. But I must caution you that most women do not succeed for a reason. If you are not willing to make every effort to control yourselves and learn to overcome your weaknesses, you will become a danger to yourselves and to the other students. Is that a weight you can carry?”
He stopped me before I could even think of an answer. “Your Hydra, the Breaker boy, is without question gifted. I would have jumped at the chance to train him, even without my brother’s involvement. Do not fear for him. He has risked himself, albeit through calculated risks, to learn what Master Mikhail was not ready to teach him. That puts him in a class beyond either of you. He knew he was missing something, and took steps to find what he was missing. That is the kind of pursuit of control that you must all share, if you are to succeed. That is what it takes to become a tool of Kouda, and not just a fool.”
It was harsh, but I still couldn’t deny it. I found myself nodding.
“Think not that those Voices in your heads are your friends. The Way is not about communing with spirits, or about making imaginary friends that only you can see. It is about control. I cannot hear them, but I have been in the presence of countless others who could, including my own brother. What they say is for their own good, not for yours. Their desires will come through you if you do not learn to manage them, and I promise you that some of their goals will be against your wishes someday, if not right now. If you aren’t trained before that time, Lady Dragon, I fear for this Empire. I fear for the world.”
The Voice of Fire in my head had nothing to say to this. I expected She would have melted into sanctimonious rage. Perhaps even She had no defense against the truth.
The Emperor’s gaze bore through me, but the expression on his face still lacked the sternness of an angry man. He was not enjoying this any more than I was, but the weight of duty to his Empire and to himself overrode his emotion. For that, I found myself admiring him. Master Mikhail, though the Emperor did not seem to be aware of it, had often worn such a straight, impassive face at our harder lessons. The more I thought about it, the more similar they became in that regard. Yet Master Mikhail had taken the kind road, and the Emperor had taken what he believed was the necessary road. If only I could find a way to disguise my emotion so well! Perhaps I could, if I agreed to train.
Almost as if he could read my thoughts, the Emperor began to speak again. “You were trying to escape when you found my chamber. The man that sits upon my throne and gives audiences is not me, but he uses my name to handle those affairs that do not require my attention. It is a secret that must be kept, for the safety of the Empire.” Now he was speaking with complete seriousness. “Should this Empire fall under siege, I will be protected from harm, and I may act with complete freedom in secret. If you had not found your way here, I believe we would have met here, eventually. I would have had no choice but to hold an audience with you in person. Understand that although you are only a child, this matter is of the utmost importance. If you cannot keep the secret, I cannot entrust you to go free. It is your choice, and you must make it for yourself, not for me.”
“Free? You’re going to just let me go?” I couldn’t believe it!
“You, Lady Dragon, have the same two choices remaining that Master Grimm and my brother gave you. If you still wish to leave this Keep and return to the life that remains to you, I will be lenient. I do not wish to harbor students that hold a grudge against me or do not trust my intentions. However, you now know the full story. The beast inside you, without proper training, will someday break free. She has already begun to do so. While it is possible for a dedicated student like your Breaker to train alone, the potential for disaster is beyond high. Receiving no training at all is far worse. Whatever you do from this moment forward, you cannot remain couched in your ignorance. You cannot both remain a simple girl-child, and harness the power that resides in you.” I gritted my teeth.
“If you stay here, we will train you to become a tool and a weapon for this Empire. You will be responsible for defending those who cannot defend themselves, fighting for our causes and the expansion of our nation, and always striving to better yourselves. Master Grimm is one of the best Fire Masters we have. I am sorry for his role in my brother’s passing, but the blame for that should not be laid at his feet. He is not the most likable man, but he is intelligent, powerful and willing to do what he must to see you succeed. Your friends will receive training by those Masters that best suit them, and they will be allowed to choose, just as you are. I will keep no slaves under my counsel.”
I looked up at him, and a dark shadow passed over his face. It was the closest thing to anger that I had ever seen on his face, or on Master Mikhail’s. “But know this, Lady Dragon. I am a strict yet fair man. I do what is necessary for the good of all. If I find that you have betrayed my trust, used my training to turn against me, or left this Keep and lost control of your power in a way that affects this Empire a second time, I will not be lenient again. Remember what Mistress Ami has suffered. I cannot believe that any students of my brother’s would not suffer after such an event. Forget the consequences of your actions at your own peril. Do you understand?”
It was too much to absorb all at once. I was still trying to fit my head around the fact that the man standing in front of me was not my teacher and friend. To ask me to consider that Master Mikhail might have led us astray, or to consider my future in light of such a thing, was too much. Feeling more like a child than I had in years, I set my jaw and tried to look the Emperor in the eye. “Am I allowed time to think? Can I see my friends first?”
He paused, thinking for a moment. “I understand that this has been hard for you to accept. My brother’s death still weighs heavy on your mind. I am willing to allow you some time to consider my offer, but I cannot wait long. As I have said, untrained as you are, you pose a very real threat to this Empire. If you were to lose control here and now, for example, my life would be at risk. I cannot allow that. Your thinking must be a priority, Lady Dragon. Do not waste my kindness. I will give you two days.”
I opened my mouth to thank him, but he held up a hand to silence me. Considering his lack of sight, his anticipation was amazing. “I understand you are worried for your friends, and they are worried for you. I have spoken with them already. However, this is not a decision that can be made for someone else. I fear that if you have time to discuss things, you may not make the choice that is best suited to you. We all have weaknesses and strengths in other people. My brother was both, for me, in the end. I would rather you made this decision yourself, alone.”
He let his hand fall to his side. “I will offer you a compromise. If you still wish to speak with your friends, then you may do so. I won’t have you sneaking around and disturbing my Keep any longer, so consider yourself free to tour the training grounds and acquaint yourself with what life would be like for you here. I will not jail you as long as you do not cause harm. But I ask that you think on what I have said before you contact your friends. I will offer them the same compromise. What happens after that is up to you three.”
He had not lied when he claimed to be a strict yet fair man. If I hadn’t still blamed him for not being Master Mikhail, I might even have liked him. The resentment and anger and fear that I had been channeling since the loss of our peaceful home, however, left no room for anything more. Master Mikhail had been right, in the last moments of his life. The Emperor – his brother, in secret – was not our enemy. He was trying to do the right thing for us all, just as Master Mikhail had, though in a very different way. Whether I could trust him, however, was another matter; one that would require the time he had given me.
“I appreciate your offer, Great One. I will take the time to make my decision. I will never forget what happened to Master Mikhail, but my anger at least is lessened now that I know the man who ordered it will never forget as well.” It was the kindest thing I could say. “You know what it feels like to lose someone you love, too. Even if I trade his teachings for yours, I will always follow him in my heart. He might have been more than just a teacher, but the friendship and kindness he showed us will be eternal. I hope your training is too.”
The Emperor attempted to smile, but the expression never reached his eyes. “You may find, Lady Dragon, that very few things in our lives are eternal. Training may be the only one, in the end.” He then produced two small scrolls from deep pockets in his robe, handing them over to me. The first was a writ of safe passage within the halls of the Keep, provided that I did not cause harm or mischief on the grounds. The second was an allowance for a simple, ordinary room reserved for common guests. It was more than I deserved, but it was clearly not more than he had anticipated.
My scrolls in hand, he bade me farewell, promising to contact me at the end of my two days to retrieve my final response to his ultimatum. As I walked out the door and into the hallways of the Imperial Keep for my first time as a free citizen, I kept my eyes well away from the giant hole I had blown in the wall while arriving. All I could think about was Master Mikhail, how much I missed him, and the silent yet brooding Voice of Fire that still lurked in the back of my mind, awaiting her chance at mischief. There was much to discuss, and little time in which to discuss it. I would have to focus harder than I ever had in my life.
